... so live your life, you're steadily chasing that paper.

" just live your life. ayyy ! ain't got no time for haters :] " - T.I. Ft. Rihanna.

Drank that patron last night, took shots, pictures, saw everybody in the North, partied w/ the best of them, no haters ;] Met new people, not my usual party crowd Haha, pshh I'm not hanging out with " younging's" anymore, my age now of days. Please Sheena, do no post any of those pictures. I was like Idgaf, & I saw claudine, aw she is so cute, and saw other faces. Overall goodnight, goodnight sleep. Didn't hook up w/ anyone, although I danced with some strangers. Staying on the Northside til' Monday, tonight going to go to the nieces' birthday party, then frat party later with the girls. I hope Sheena is okay, she didn't pick up :[ Church on Sunday, and hanging out w. my Nee on Monday, you better bitch, I miss you :] You keep me sane & holy.

I love those sunglasses above, Lolita style :D So the 10th is my test, not going to put any stress on it, if it happens it happens, but God, I am not even focusing on any sort of love or attatchemnt, I'm just focused, paper chasing. I wanna be something someday. Guys or Girls will fuck you up, it all depends if you can handle it. " I don't think you can handle it, because my body is too bootylicious for you babe ;] haha" shutup ! kbye.

Don't be afraid to fall in love again...

"Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends."- P.S. I Love You.

I've been watching this movie for days, if you haven't seen it, go see it :] I want a man like "Gerry". It's a new " horoscope birth year ". Next year will be my number one year, it entails me to write what I'd like in a guy, & it'd come true ;] How many times have I been wishing on shooting stars, & 11:11's. Lol.

Wow, I loved her wardrob in the movie :D I have to get this jacket now ;) Ohhh & the clothes in Georgia Rule. I've been inspired by a lot of things, mainly movies & magazines. If I were rich I'd get an assortment of Ray Ban's. :[ But time to save, me & Nee have a plan to do " Black Friday Extravaganza."

---- My birthday night ; was so crazy... fought w/ my sister. Drank w. the boys & girls, "swam around " Christine's pool. Mainly got shitface drunk ( threw up for the very first time ). Made out w. everybody. Woke up holding someone's hand in my bathing suit, in Christine's bed. Felt disgusted because there was a hickey on my back. But no sex, because I haven't had any since May... & I'm tight :] like that. WOWWWWWW whatshisface is like a brother. & that kiss wasn't not as personal as some of the sex I've had in my life.

I don't want to have sex with someone I want to fuck. I want to love & be loved. I want to be adored. My greatest fear in life, is not to ever fall in real love. Not the love where you force yourself to love that person, but I want the sparks, the whole enchilada, the movie type shit. & yes I believe in a thing called love. I'm never going to give up... You know why? Because my best friend Tica Delacruz once told me... to keep on going, & to never give up on something you believe in. You don't even have to see it to believe. You just feel.

I'm 19 now, I'm not so young, but I'm old enough.

I gotta another confession to make.

"... i'm your fool. "

WOW, fuck! So why did I have to look grimmey last night, when all of my exs were in one hot squishy room. LOL. If my life was a movie, it'd be commedy, most definitely. I was too tired to know better, too drunk to not to give a fuck. Any regrets? No, it happened... I was there. Fuck, I wanted to be "M.I.A" for awhile, and look what a beer, and some shots can do. I'm just going to not remember last night, and that pretty much sounds like a plan. mkae, buh bye. <3

but you don't what you got til' it's gone.

" & you don't know what it's like to feel so alone. " - Jonas Brothers.

Haha I know ;] I'm a grown ass kid. Anyway, ewww whatshisface just wants to hit it & quit it. I think not, buddy. We're just playing a game, & I got the dice. I'm just kidding. So today, I went to the tattoo shop at 10 am, Roxanne paid for it, got hollered at but some weirdo, dismissed it. Had serious conversations w/ rocky, he's awesome. I definitely recommend him. Happy Birthday to me, thank you my oldest sister Roxanne. I love all my birthday gifts. 19 probably won't be so bad. I'm old as fuck though. Well old enough to know better, young enough to not give a fuck. I'm progressing w/ my life. Whatever makes me happy... I suppose. I'm still going to be single for a long time, so don't think otherwise. I'm not even in the mood to talk - talk to anyone. Thank the lord, for everything.

guys..

are idiots.

I'm going to be single - single for a year.

Thank you very much, I can handle it. I'm strong willed at this time. I think I'm motivated, to become better, I don't need yours, I want to move, own my house, car, etc.

as long as you got me...

" you won't need nobody else ".

I went shopping the other day, hard-core. Retail therapy, is my weakness. "All of them", can go suck a dick, a big fat one. IDGAF, well I sorta do.

Lately a lot of things shocked me. " It's whatever ". I'm going to ignore all of them :] I'm on a mission. Other than that, let's keep it amicable bitch ! Awwwwww I really want a Honda Fit :[ An Orange one, no purple :[ lol.

if you let me, you won't regret me.

"shit if you let me, you won't forget me."

Wow, this weekend was so exahusting. & I saw faces, I haven't seen in forever at a kickback on the Southside, it was fun for a while, up until people wanted to replace me for the next best thing. I'm not sure if it was using, or whatever. Re-opened my eyes to focusing on current problems/plans/goals. My outfit last night - vintaged out & banging! ;] jk. No hours of sleep, lots of things I had to do around the house. Hit up my mom's old clothes, I'm thinking of revamping.

Mmmmh I don't feel pretty at the moment, that sucks. lol I'm tired as fuck, but all I want to do is go running, or shopping.

Nee Nee chilled/ helped/ bummed / watched movies w. me today. We watched The Eye, & August Rush. Idgaf how old the dad was in that movie, but he was hot!


Guys mixed, & guys w. accents ( not fob ) lol = Weakness.
& don't forget about those Rocker Bad Sensitive boys :]

Blah, someone revealed their feelings for me intoxicated, and the rest of the guys choosed better than I. I need to stop flirting, that's bad. Lol. I can never settle, because... that wouldn't be me. I don't know what a real relationship feels like anymore. I never cheated, but I never was fully satisfied or content was I?